Sexologist in Singapore sheds light on body neutrality and why there’s nothing wrong with being okay

We are often told to love our bodies. When browsing social media, you’ll see many posts urging us to embrace our curves, accept our imperfections, and feel confident in ourselves.

Over the last ten years, social media has helped the body-positive movement reach mainstream audiences.

Common messages emphasise accepting body diversity, normalising features like rolls, scars, and cellulite, and encouraging self-love in all shapes and sizes.

The movement has played an important role in challenging narrow beauty standards and increasing the visibility of bodies that were historically criticised or excluded.

However, appearance-related pressure has barely decreased.

In 2023, KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital recorded 140 new eating-disorder diagnoses among young people aged 11 to 18. This is more than double the 50 to 70 cases recorded in 2017.

Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions shaped by multiple factors, although body-image concerns and pressure to meet appearance ideals may form part of the picture.

Meanwhile, the emergence of “looksmaxxing” — an online trend urging boys and men to maximise their attractiveness, sometimes via extreme or unproven practices — shows that appearance pressure extends beyond women.

These developments do not mean body positivity has failed. They remind us that messages of self-love coexist with powerful cultural and commercial forces that continue to scrutinise our bodies.

For some, “love your body” can also become another source of pressure and expectations. What happens on days when you do not feel positive or celebratory about your body?

Injury, illness, ageing, disability, pregnancy, menopause, medical treatment or weight changes may alter that relationship.

Alongside dissatisfaction, another uncomfortable thought may arise: “I am also failing at self-love.”

Perhaps we need more room for an emotionally honest middle ground.

When positivity starts to feel like pressure

The problem lies partly in how body positivity is sometimes oversimplified online to mean “love how you look ...