SINGAPORE – During his father’s final years, Mr Troy Lee MS De Silva, 20, overhauled his lifestyle.

His late father Mohd Shaffari Mohd Nor had heart and kidney problems, then a stroke in 2022, which led to him using a wheelchair. Mr De Silva and his younger sister Zara Umeria Mohd Shaffari, then 17 and 13 respectively, stepped up to help their mother care for their father.

The siblings bought meals, prepared coffee and watched over their dad when they were home. Mr De Silva also worked part-time as a waiter and cinema kiosk server so he could support himself on the earnings and bursaries he received.

Their mum Susannah De Silva, now 56, was the main caregiver and breadwinner. The operations executive at a market research firm worked mostly from home.

During his dad’s last illness, Mr De Silva, an ITE student, withdrew from an active social life. He stayed at home in case his father and family needed him, or left early when he went out with his friends.

As his father’s health declined, even small movements, such as hoisting him from his wheelchair to the sofa, became challenging. Mr Mohd Shaffari, a former security manager, fell down a couple of times a month. Only Mr De Silva was strong enough to lift him on his own; his mother and sister could not.

Mr De Silva says: “If he were to fall, at least I would be there to help. If anything serious came up, I would be there.

“There was one point when I hadn’t gone out with my friends for months because my dad was very weak. I had no mood; I would just do nothing inside my room. For those three years, I hardly went out, compared with during secondary school, when I was out late at night almost every day, and my friends would stay over. ”

His father died of a heart attack at age 58 in August 2025.

A recent study by Income Insurance found that children of critically ill parents are forced to grow up too soon.

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