There’s something about the end of the year that makes us feel more reflective and conciliatory than usual. Perhaps your ego has been weighing you down like a millstone around your neck. You’re just as tired of carrying the hurt, frustration and sadness for the whole year – and you want to put it all down. You want to go home to a “you” that is at peace.

“As things slow down and we step back from the usual busyness, we often start thinking about what truly matters or weighs on us,” said Dr Annabelle Chow, a clinical psychologist from Annabelle Psychology. “It might be a strained relationship, an unfinished conversation, a promise we didn’t keep, or something we’ve always wanted to make right.”

Psychologically, said Serene Lee, a psychotherapist and the founder of counselling centre ICCT.sg, this time of the year is a “natural checkpoint”. “You can think of it as the emotional equivalent of your handphone prompting you to update your software. The year is ending, and there is this collective pressure to start the new year with a clean slate." 

For others, it could be a health scare, the loss of a loved one, or a milestone that prompts them to seek reconciliation, observed Dr Chow. “These moments tend to remind them of the fleetingness of time and importance of connection. Others describe feeling weighed down by the ongoing distance or tension, and realising that holding on to the resentment has become more painful than the vulnerability it takes to reach out.”

And sometimes, people are just tired, said Lee. “The initial heat of the argument has cooled, and what is left is this cold, hard lump of silence. After five years, you might not even remember why you stopped talking to your father but y...